Internet Detox


Tomorrow, August 22, until August 30, I will not use the internet.  This one is a difficult challenge.  I haven’t even set my mind on it yet.  But I know I have to do it.  For as much as I want to remain unmoved, in a negative way, by all these genius I see and read and follow online, it’s not just possible.  Or is it?  If you know of ways, I’d be so glad to hear that out.  

Anyway, my goal for this detox is of course, to remove the ‘toxins’ in my ‘system’ brought by all the internet consumption I’ve had in Santa knows how long.  I hope the time would be enough and I hope that for the length of it, I’ll discover truths within me that can make me feel better about myself and to find my ground again in the midst of all these things in the internet and social media.  With that, I bid you a temporary goodbye.

All izz well!

PS. This space feels like home to me right now.


Why You Can’t Lose Faith

Photo by Free People

Photo by Free People

To be human is to lose sight of the good things one way or another.  We aren’t perfect and our faith may falter.  Yes, we have different ways of perceiving a bigger thing or presence other than ourselves.  And yet, when the adversity is right in front of you, worry and the scent of defeat can get the better part of you.

What I’m about to say does not come easy.  It takes time to master the art of keeping faith no matter what happens.  It would take courage to believe that life will eventually turn out best for you.  It would require a kind of faith that can only be attained after countless times of being tested and yet, emerge victorious and stronger than ever.

But I think you can’t afford to lose faith once you attain this strong belief that your life situation will eventually get better.  You may be at your lowest now, with no hope and solution in sight.  But when in your heart, you find that faint beat of faith, that’s all it takes. That’s all it would take for you to carry on to another day.  It doesn’t matter whether you still can’t see a way out of your misery.  At least you have faith.

You can’t lose faith because when the day comes that all suffering’s gone and your life is at its peak, all that’s left to do is look back and be proud of yourself for never giving up.  Because if you lose hope now and succumb to failure, how could you ever get to the better days?

As I see it, my friend, you can’t afford to lose faith, now and always.




I think of all the people I look up to whether I know them personally or the ones I follow online.  Some of them do silly things, they get to have a lot of fun, they smoke, drink and party hard.  However, why is it that I get disappointed by others who do the same things?  I realized it lies in their values.  I look up to those people who know how to have fun and yet holds their ground seriously for what they stand for.  They are ethical.  They are not malicious.  They are dignified individuals.  And these people really get to me and pick me up every time to do my best and carve my own definition of self that I can be proud of wherever I go and no matter whom I deal with.


This is a come back!!!

Hello, whoever you are who’s seriously taking time to read this post.

I just want you to know that this post is screaming with…



Well, I know you can’t feel it but I’m so desperate right now to post something out here.  This blog that’s been sleeping for four months now.  Creative juices seem to be gone, hopefully not for good.  I need you.

I know I have no solid followers by now and it’s sad but not super sad.  I really just have to release some tension and insanity flowing through my system right now. Hehehe.


The Dark Room


Photo by Neave Bozorgi

Thought to be great

Know the trade

Achieve more.


No one wants a bad child

A delinquent teenager

An immature adult


Thought to be tough

Stand upright



What about pain?

Grief of loss –

of shadows


What about them

That won’t go away

And creeps in the dark?


What about anger?

No matter how repressed

Finds a way to stay


“Kill them”,

people say.

But they kill you instead.


Can’t anyone tell?


The Chase for A

Photo via Instagram

Photo via Instagram

For the last couple of months I have been seriously thinking about starting my own clothing line.  No, it’s not supposed to be big.  First, I have no scholarly background in design and arts.  All I know, which some of you might already know, is that I do crochet.  But sewing?  Well, aside from our home economics subject in grade school, there’s really nothing else to brag about.  If that subject is even one to consider.

I have actually made a dress already out of old blankets with my mother’s 90s-something Singer sewing machine.  But the thing is that first attempt had no follow-up for a month already.  What’s going on every single day is a polarity of self-doubt and positive thoughts.  I don’t know when I’ll go buy that fabric and really start sewing, not even to say selling.

This week I started watching lecture videos in a free course I’m enrolled at  Developing Innovative Ideas for New Companies.  And the speaker, Dr. James Green, mentioned that one entrepreneurial mindset involves a need for achievement.  That made me wonder.  And I have to agree.  At 22, I feel like I haven’t achieved anything important in my life so far.  I feel like I haven’t made a positive impact on anyone else’s life.  I don’t feel like I’m doing anything that’s of great value.

So here goes my chase after A.  The ride isn’t always a hundred percent proud of its course.  There are days when I’m just so down for something that haven’t materialized yet in anyway.  Days when I’m crippled by my worries and inexperience in the field.  But there’s that tiny spark that saves me in some other days.  That little thing that ignites my spirit one more time and make me say out loud “Push!” because there’s something good in what I’m doing.

But for all I know, this chase isn’t just about the goal to establish a business from scratch.  It’s more about that longing to feel that I have something logical, practical and effective to share with others.  Something that I can introduce alongside me when meeting new people.  Something that I could be proud of because I am good at something, at that thing.  A statement that defines one aspect of me.


Photo by A Cup of Jo

Photo by A Cup of Jo

I think age is an important factor for success.  But success is a subjective thing in itself.  Nonetheless, age is a great indicator of what we are supposed to be accomplishing in life.  This is a very relevant topic in Psychology.  Different theories of personality present life stages with its corresponding expected developments.  Freud had the psychosexual stages.  Erickson had the psychosocial stages.  Piaget had the cognitive development and so on.  And each one of these includes ages.

But I will not go on with a scholarly talk.  I just want to take part in a growing number of online references that discuss what it’s like to be in your 20s.  I have to say that like any life stages, it has its share of the good and the bad, joy and pain, love and heartache, of questions and answers, and of beginnings and endings.  And don’t forget that there’s also a time for sobriety and complete, you know, blackout.

Here are the things that I know so far.

  1. Hugs are a bad day saver.  Some days aren’t just the perfect day and I could go on to tell reasons why.  But I’ll leave that to you.  Personalize this part.  And on such days, a big hug from a loved one could be the best gift.  It can easily make you feel less alone, less terrified.  Less of all the negatives.
  2. Consistent beer nights is just a phase.  Those Friday and Saturday nights spent at the pub drinking with friends.  I consider this a phase because responsibility is supposed to sink in at some point.  Other than that, more meaningful activities and priorities must arise eventually.
  3. Quality over quantity.  Primarily I am referring to relationships.  One way or another you will find out that less is just the right thing.  You can’t seriously and genuinely be friends with a hundred people and keep in touch with everyone from time to time.  And you’ll actually notice and realize that not everyone from your friends would be there for you especially at a worst time.
  4. Acceptance.  From that previous fact, all you can do is accept it.  Accept that fact about life.  And you’ll feel better. 
  5. Appreciate the few.  When you learn to accept that less is just the right number of people you need in your life, you have all the time now to appreciate them.  Connect with them.  Celebrate living with them. 
  6. Thoughts of moving out.  In the west this is normal.  But among us Filipinos, it isn’t.  Supposed you are done with the delinquent phase and you are genuinely trying to become a full-pledged independent young adult, then thoughts of moving out may be playing in your head by now.
  7. Self-doubt.  For a lot of reason.  For being all alone even when you are with family or friends.  When it’s just you and your problem face to face. 
  8. Lover.  A lover is a good idea.  Part of the freedom of being in your 20s is to explore the world.  Embark on a road trip.  Visit a deserted building.  Try a new restaurant.  The possibilities are endless.  Savor the time while you still have no kids to put on top of your priority list, at all times.
  9. Be kind to your body.  Not everyone’s a nutritionist or a medical doctor.  Not everyone knows about the components of all the foods we eat.  Most of us can go on for a long time oblivious to the effects of everything we put into our body.  So there’s one thing I suggest you do.  Try to know some facts about foods, alcohol, smoking and drugs.  Try to know how these things affect your body. 
  10. The questions.  There’s a lot.  If only we could ask for the counsel of all the old people in the world.  They know best how to live a happy and meaningful life.  Not that every one of them had that.  I assume not.  But the approaching end makes the difference for what they could tell us. 

I don’t know how this list is exactly related to my intro that discusses success and age.  Maybe success could be number 11.  That we, the 20-somethings, aren’t all that sure that whatever we are doing now is the right path to success.  And we have a lot of inspirations, people that we look up to and wonder if we could ever become one.  If it’s even possible in the first place.  If we have the capability to become successful.

So here are some things of what it’s like to be in your 20s.  I am one small voice.  One that asks.  One that looks up in the night sky and wonder how.