Indeed, the -ber months is here. Without exaggeration, there’s a change in the air especially tonight, on the first day of September. It’s colder and there’s that familiar scent of Christmas that makes me feel good and hopeful of the remaining days of the year.
However, I mean it when I say December 2013 feels like yesterday. Goodness! I thank God for today, for this year, even though there are struggles. Cheers to life and for Christmas!
Tomorrow, August 22, until August 30, I will not use the internet. This one is a difficult challenge. I haven’t even set my mind on it yet. But I know I have to do it. For as much as I want to remain unmoved, in a negative way, by all these genius I see and read and follow online, it’s not just possible. Or is it? If you know of ways, I’d be so glad to hear that out.
Anyway, my goal for this detox is of course, to remove the ‘toxins’ in my ‘system’ brought by all the internet consumption I’ve had in Santa knows how long. I hope the time would be enough and I hope that for the length of it, I’ll discover truths within me that can make me feel better about myself and to find my ground again in the midst of all these things in the internet and social media. With that, I bid you a temporary goodbye.
All izz well!
PS. This space feels like home to me right now.
Photo by Free People
To be human is to lose sight of the good things one way or another. We aren’t perfect and our faith may falter. Yes, we have different ways of perceiving a bigger thing or presence other than ourselves. And yet, when the adversity is right in front of you, worry and the scent of defeat can get the better part of you.
What I’m about to say does not come easy. It takes time to master the art of keeping faith no matter what happens. It would take courage to believe that life will eventually turn out best for you. It would require a kind of faith that can only be attained after countless times of being tested and yet, emerge victorious and stronger than ever.
But I think you can’t afford to lose faith once you attain this strong belief that your life situation will eventually get better. You may be at your lowest now, with no hope and solution in sight. But when in your heart, you find that faint beat of faith, that’s all it takes. That’s all it would take for you to carry on to another day. It doesn’t matter whether you still can’t see a way out of your misery. At least you have faith.
You can’t lose faith because when the day comes that all suffering’s gone and your life is at its peak, all that’s left to do is look back and be proud of yourself for never giving up. Because if you lose hope now and succumb to failure, how could you ever get to the better days?
As I see it, my friend, you can’t afford to lose faith, now and always.
I think of all the people I look up to whether I know them personally or the ones I follow online. Some of them do silly things, they get to have a lot of fun, they smoke, drink and party hard. However, why is it that I get disappointed by others who do the same things? I realized it lies in their values. I look up to those people who know how to have fun and yet holds their ground seriously for what they stand for. They are ethical. They are not malicious. They are dignified individuals. And these people really get to me and pick me up every time to do my best and carve my own definition of self that I can be proud of wherever I go and no matter whom I deal with.
This is a come back!!!
Hello, whoever you are who’s seriously taking time to read this post.
I just want you to know that this post is screaming with…
Well, I know you can’t feel it but I’m so desperate right now to post something out here. This blog that’s been sleeping for four months now. Creative juices seem to be gone, hopefully not for good. I need you.
I know I have no solid followers by now and it’s sad but not super sad. I really just have to release some tension and insanity flowing through my system right now. Hehehe.
Photo by Neave Bozorgi
Thought to be great
Know the trade
No one wants a bad child
A delinquent teenager
An immature adult
Thought to be tough
What about pain?
Grief of loss —
What about them
That won’t go away
And creeps in the dark?
What about anger?
No matter how repressed
Finds a way to stay
But they kill you instead.
Can’t anyone tell?
Photo via Instagram
For the last couple of months I have been seriously thinking about starting my own clothing line. No, it’s not supposed to be big. First, I have no scholarly background in design and arts. All I know, which some of you might already know, is that I do crochet. But sewing? Well, aside from our home economics subject in grade school, there’s really nothing else to brag about. If that subject is even one to consider.
I have actually made a dress already out of old blankets with my mother’s 90s-something Singer sewing machine. But the thing is that first attempt had no follow-up for a month already. What’s going on every single day is a polarity of self-doubt and positive thoughts. I don’t know when I’ll go buy that fabric and really start sewing, not even to say selling.
This week I started watching lecture videos in a free course I’m enrolled at coursera.org. Developing Innovative Ideas for New Companies. And the speaker, Dr. James Green, mentioned that one entrepreneurial mindset involves a need for achievement. That made me wonder. And I have to agree. At 22, I feel like I haven’t achieved anything important in my life so far. I feel like I haven’t made a positive impact on anyone else’s life. I don’t feel like I’m doing anything that’s of great value.
So here goes my chase after A. The ride isn’t always a hundred percent proud of its course. There are days when I’m just so down for something that haven’t materialized yet in anyway. Days when I’m crippled by my worries and inexperience in the field. But there’s that tiny spark that saves me in some other days. That little thing that ignites my spirit one more time and make me say out loud “Push!” because there’s something good in what I’m doing.
But for all I know, this chase isn’t just about the goal to establish a business from scratch. It’s more about that longing to feel that I have something logical, practical and effective to share with others. Something that I can introduce alongside me when meeting new people. Something that I could be proud of because I am good at something, at that thing. A statement that defines one aspect of me.